The 40th wedding anniversary is the Ruby Anniversary, symbolizing enduring passion and the precious nature of four decades together. Ruby is both the traditional and modern gift for this milestone, representing a deep red color theme that mirrors the intensity and fire of lasting love. Reaching 40 years together demonstrates exceptional commitment—approximately half of married couples reach their ruby anniversary1, making it one of the most significant celebrations in a marriage journey.
Why Ruby for 40 Years?
The tradition of associating ruby with the 40th anniversary dates back to medieval Germany, where husbands would present their wives with silver garlands on their 25th anniversary and gold wreaths on their 50th. The ruby tradition emerged during the Victorian era when gift-giving customs for wedding milestones became popular, with specific materials assigned to each year2.
Ruby was chosen for the 40th anniversary for its powerful symbolic properties. As a precious gemstone formed under extreme heat and pressure deep within the earth, ruby mirrors the strength and resilience required to maintain a marriage for four decades. The stone's vibrant red color represents:
- Passion and romance: The deep red hue symbolizes continued fire and desire between partners
- Vitality and energy: Ruby is associated with life force and enthusiasm for the journey ahead
- Protection and devotion: Ancient cultures believed rubies protected their wearers from harm
- Rarity and preciousness: Quality rubies are rarer than diamonds, reflecting how exceptional 40 years together truly is
In gemology, ruby is the red variety of the mineral corundum, the second hardest natural substance after diamond3. This durability makes it a fitting metaphor for marriages that have weathered four decades of life's challenges. Known as the "King of Gemstones" in ancient India, rubies have been prized throughout history for their scarcity, beauty, and seemingly mystical qualities4.
Ruby Anniversary Gift Ideas
Selecting the perfect 40th anniversary gift means balancing tradition with personal meaning. Whether you choose genuine ruby jewelry or ruby-inspired alternatives, the thoughtfulness behind your selection matters most.
Ruby Jewelry Options
Authentic ruby jewelry remains the most traditional and treasured gift option. Here's a comprehensive price comparison across major English-speaking markets:
| Gift Type | US ($) | UK (£) | Australia (A$) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ruby pendant necklace (0.5-1 carat) | $800-2,500 | £650-2,000 | A$1,200-3,800 |
| Ruby stud earrings (total 1 carat) | $1,200-3,500 | £950-2,800 | A$1,800-5,300 |
| Ruby and diamond ring | $1,500-5,000+ | £1,200-4,000+ | A$2,300-7,500+ |
| Ruby bracelet | $1,000-4,000 | £800-3,200 | A$1,500-6,000 |
| Ruby cufflinks (for him) | $400-1,500 | £320-1,200 | A$600-2,200 |
Quality factors affecting price: The value of a ruby is largely driven by its color3. The most prized color is called "pigeon's blood"—deep, true red with just a hint of blue. Fine rubies over one carat are scarce and command high prices, while eye-clean rubies are very rare and highly sought after.
Ruby-Colored Alternative Gifts
For couples seeking meaningful gifts without the gemstone investment, ruby-colored items offer beautiful alternatives:
- Ruby glassware: Bohemian red crystal wine glasses ($120-350/£95-280/A$180-525 per set)
- Ruby red roses: 40 long-stem red roses in a premium arrangement ($150-300/£120-240/A$225-450)
- Ruby port wine: Vintage port from the wedding year if available ($80-400/£65-320/A$120-600)
- Art with ruby tones: Abstract paintings or prints featuring deep reds ($200-2,000)
- Home décor: Ruby velvet throw pillows, blankets, or curtains ($100-600)
Experience Gifts
Creating memories together often proves more valuable than material gifts:
- Ruby-themed romantic getaway: Weekend at a luxury hotel with red rose petals, champagne, and spa treatments
- Wine country tour: Visit ruby-red wine regions like Napa Valley, Bordeaux, or Barossa Valley
- Vow renewal ceremony: Intimate celebration reaffirming your commitment with family and friends
- Concert or theater tickets: Evening celebrating favorite performers
- Cooking class for two: Learn to prepare dishes featuring red ingredients
Ruby Anniversary Celebration Ideas
How you celebrate 40 years together depends on your style as a couple, but incorporating ruby elements creates a cohesive theme.
Intimate Celebrations
Many couples reaching 40 years prefer quality time together over large gatherings:
Romantic dinner: Reserve a table at a meaningful restaurant—perhaps where you had your first date. Request ruby-red table linens, order dishes with red ingredients, and toast with ruby port or red wine.
Weekend getaway: Escape to a meaningful location, perhaps where you married or honeymooned. Choose accommodations offering anniversary packages with champagne, roses, and couples' spa treatments.
Home celebration: Transform your home into a ruby paradise with deep red flowers, candlelit dinner featuring your wedding menu, and dancing to your wedding song.
Party Ideas with Ruby Themes
For couples wanting to celebrate with family and friends:
Ruby-themed cocktail party: Decorate with ruby balloons, linens, and uplighting. Serve signature ruby cocktails (cosmopolitans, ruby martinis, cranberry mimosas). Display wedding photos chronologically around the venue.
Garden party: Host an outdoor celebration during golden hour when natural light creates ruby tones. Use ruby red roses, dahlias, and peonies in centerpieces.
Dinner party: Invite your closest loved ones for an elegant seated dinner with ruby charger plates, red napkins, and garnet-colored glassware. Create a timeline display showing major milestones from each decade.
Regional Celebration Traditions
While ruby is universal for the 40th anniversary, celebration styles vary:
United States: Americans often host larger gatherings, with children and grandchildren planning surprise parties. Vow renewal ceremonies during the party are common.
United Kingdom: British couples frequently opt for weekend breaks in the countryside, particularly in the Cotswolds or Lake District. Afternoon tea celebrations with ruby-colored petit fours are popular.
Australia: Australian couples often celebrate with outdoor barbecues or beach gatherings. Bush retreats or coastal getaways are favored, with ruby-themed sunset celebrations.
Ruby Anniversary Facts & Milestone Comparisons
Understanding where the 40th anniversary fits in the broader milestone landscape helps appreciate its significance.
Major Anniversary Milestones
| Anniversary | Years | Traditional Gift | Modern Gift | Symbolic Meaning |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Silver | 25 | Silver | Silver | First major milestone, purity |
| Pearl | 30 | Pearl | Diamond | Beauty created through adversity |
| Ruby | 40 | Ruby | Ruby | Rare, passionate, precious |
| Golden | 50 | Gold | Gold | Supreme achievement, ultimate value |
| Diamond | 60 | Diamond | Diamond | Unbreakable, brilliant, eternal |
Statistics on Long Marriages
The 40th anniversary represents a remarkable achievement:
- According to the Marriage Foundation UK, approximately half of today's newlyweds will reach their ruby anniversary1
- Among couples who reach 40 years, 99% will remain married until one spouse dies rather than divorcing1
- The projected lifetime divorce rate for today's newlyweds is 31%, down from 44% for couples who married in the late 1980s1
- Couples married 40+ years report higher satisfaction levels than newlyweds, describing their marriages as "highly successful"5
Shopping Guide by Region
Finding quality ruby gifts depends on your location and budget.
United States
High-end jewelers: Tiffany & Co., Harry Winston, and Cartier offer certified ruby jewelry with lifetime guarantees. Expect premium pricing ($2,000-15,000+) but impeccable quality.
Mid-range options: Kay Jewelers, Jared, and Blue Nile provide certified ruby jewelry at accessible price points ($500-3,000). Blue Nile's online platform allows custom design within your budget.
Budget-friendly: Etsy features independent jewelers creating ruby-inspired pieces ($100-800). Lab-created ruby jewelry offers chemically identical stones at significantly lower prices.
United Kingdom
Luxury brands: Boodles, Garrard, and Mappin & Webb provide British heritage craftsmanship with ruby specializations (£1,000-10,000+).
Accessible retailers: Ernest Jones, H. Samuel, and Goldsmiths offer certified ruby jewelry with UK hallmarks (£400-2,500).
Online specialists: 77 Diamonds and Taylor & Hart provide bespoke ruby jewelry design with competitive pricing (£600-4,000).
Australia
Prestige jewelers: Calleija, Canturi, and Mondial showcase Australian design excellence with ethically sourced rubies (A$2,000-20,000+).
National chains: Michael Hill, Prouds, and Angus & Coote stock certified ruby jewelry across price ranges (A$600-4,000).
Online options: Brilliant Earth ships to Australia with ethically sourced rubies. Custom design available (A$800-6,000).
Making Your 40th Anniversary Memorable
Regardless of your budget or celebration style, several elements make ruby anniversaries unforgettable:
Reflection: Take time to reminisce about your 40-year journey. Create a photo slideshow or memory book highlighting each decade.
Family involvement: If you have children or grandchildren, include them in the celebration. Their participation honors the family you've built together.
Personal touches: Incorporate elements specific to your relationship—visit the location of your first kiss, play songs from your wedding, or recreate your first meal together.
Gratitude: Express appreciation for your partner's love, commitment, and companionship. Write letters to each other describing what these 40 years have meant.
The ruby anniversary honors not just longevity but the quality of your decades together. Whether you celebrate with genuine ruby jewelry, a romantic getaway, or a simple evening at home, the true gift is the relationship itself—precious, rare, and brilliant after 40 years of shared life.
Sources and References
Footnotes
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Marriage Foundation UK, Half of today's newlyweds will celebrate their ruby anniversary together, 2019. https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/half-of-todays-newlyweds-will-celebrate-their-ruby-anniversary-together/ ↩ ↩2 ↩3 ↩4
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With Clarity, Everything You Need to Know About the 40th Ruby Anniversary, 2024. https://www.withclarity.com/blogs/gemstone/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-40th-ruby-anniversary ↩
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Gemological Institute of America, Ruby Quality Factors, 2024. https://www.gia.edu/ruby-quality-factor ↩ ↩2
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Geology Science, Ruby: The King of Gemstones – Properties, Uses, and Meaning, 2024. https://geologyscience.com/gemstone-blog/ruby-the-king-of-gemstones-properties-uses-and-meaning/ ↩
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Weishaus, S. & Field, D., A Half Century of Marriage: Continuity or Change?, Journal of Marriage and Family, 1988, 50(3): 763-774. ↩