Write a congratulations opening, add a personal connection or memory, express future wishes for the couple, and sign warmly using both partners' names. The average wedding card message contains 25-50 words (The Knot, 2024)1. Most guests spend 3-5 minutes crafting their message before signing.
This guide provides a tested formula for wedding card messages that work for every relationship type. You will learn exactly what to include, what to avoid, and how to adapt your tone based on how well you know the couple.
The Complete Wedding Card Formula
The most effective wedding card messages follow a four-part structure that takes 30-60 seconds to write. This formula works for the vast majority of wedding card situations (Emily Post Institute, 2024)2.
Part 1: Opening (5-8 words) - Start with "Congratulations!" or "Best wishes!" followed by both names. Direct address creates immediate warmth and personalizes the generic printed card.
Part 2: Personal Connection (15-25 words) - Reference a shared memory, acknowledge your relationship, or mention something specific about the couple. This section transforms a standard message into something memorable.
Part 3: Future Wishes (10-15 words) - Express hopes for their marriage using active, positive language. Avoid generic phrases like "all the happiness in the world" in favor of specific wishes.
Part 4: Sign-off (3-5 words) - Close with warmth using phrases like "With love," "Warmly," or "Fondly" before your signature. Match your closing to your relationship closeness.
Ready-to-Use Templates
Template 1 (Warm and Personal) "Congratulations, [Names]! [Personal memory or observation about their relationship]. May your marriage be filled with [specific wish]. With love, [Your name]"
Template 2 (Traditional and Elegant) "Warmest congratulations on your marriage. [Quality you admire about the couple]. Wishing you both [future hope]. Sincerely, [Your name]"
Template 3 (Casual and Friendly) "So happy for you two! [Specific thing you love about them together]. Here's to [future wish]. Love, [Your name]"
Messages by Relationship Type
Your relationship with the couple determines message length, tone, and content depth. Research shows guests who know both partners write 23% longer messages than those who know only one (Hallmark Research, 2024)3.
For Close Friends
Close friend messages average 45-65 words and include specific memories or inside references. You have permission to be casual, funny, or deeply emotional depending on your friendship dynamic.
"Congratulations, Sarah and James! Watching you two fall in love over the past three years has been one of my greatest joys. From awkward first dates to planning this beautiful day, your journey together inspires me. Here's to a lifetime of adventures, laughter, and the deep partnership you've already built. With so much love, Marcus."
If you are looking for more examples specifically tailored to friendships, see our complete guide to wedding messages for friends.
For Family Members
Family messages can be longer (50-75 words) and often include generational wisdom or acknowledgment of watching the couple grow. Parents and grandparents frequently write the longest messages in the card collection.
"Dear Emily and Thomas, as your aunt, I've had the privilege of watching Emily grow into the remarkable woman she is today. Thomas, welcoming you into our family brings us all such happiness. May your marriage be filled with patience, kindness, and the unconditional love that makes families strong. Congratulations on this beautiful beginning. Love, Aunt Patricia."
For family-specific message examples and traditions, review our wedding messages for family members guide.
For Colleagues and Professional Contacts
Professional relationship messages stay brief (20-35 words), maintain appropriate boundaries, and focus on well-wishes rather than personal details. Avoid humor unless you have an established casual relationship.
"Congratulations, David and Jennifer! Wishing you both a wonderful celebration and a lifetime of happiness together. Best wishes, Robert Chen."
For Acquaintances
When you know the couple minimally, keep messages short (15-25 words) and sincere. Generic well-wishes are appropriate when you lack personal connection to reference.
"Best wishes on your wedding day and for your future together. Congratulations! Sarah and Michael Thompson."
| Relationship Type | Recommended Length | Tone | Example Opening |
|---|---|---|---|
| Close Friends | 45-65 words | Warm, personal, may include humor | "I've watched your love story unfold..." |
| Family Members | 50-75 words | Heartfelt, may include wisdom | "Welcoming you to our family..." |
| Colleagues | 20-35 words | Professional, warm | "Wishing you both every happiness..." |
| Acquaintances | 15-25 words | Sincere, brief | "Best wishes on your special day..." |
Regional Variations: US, UK, and Australia
Wedding card conventions differ across English-speaking regions, particularly in formality level and traditional phrases. Understanding these differences helps you match local expectations.
| Element | United States | United Kingdom | Australia |
|---|---|---|---|
| Average Length | 35-50 words | 25-40 words | 30-45 words |
| Formality Level | Moderate to casual | More formal | Casual to moderate |
| Common Openings | "Congratulations!" | "Warmest congratulations" | "Congrats!" or "Best wishes!" |
| Religious References | Common (42% include them) | Less common (28%) | Moderate (31%) |
| Humor Acceptance | High (if appropriate) | Moderate (more reserved) | Very high |
| Gift Mention | Rarely mentioned | Sometimes acknowledged | Occasionally mentioned |
American wedding cards trend toward enthusiasm and emotional expression. Phrases like "so excited for you both" and "wishing you all the happiness in the world" are common and welcomed.
British messages maintain slightly more restraint with traditional phrasing like "wishing you every happiness." The UK market shows higher use of formal closings like "Yours sincerely" compared to American preferences for "Love" or "Warmly."
Australian messages blend casual warmth with genuine sentiment and often include light humor. Phrases like "stoked for you both" or ending with "Cheers" reflect the relaxed cultural approach to celebrations.
Message Styles and Tone Options
Choose a style that matches both your personality and your relationship with the couple. Mixing styles creates confusion, so commit to one approach per message.
Traditional and Timeless
Traditional messages use classic language and time-tested sentiments. They work well for formal weddings, older couples, or when you want to err on the conservative side.
"Warmest congratulations on your marriage. May your life together be filled with love, joy, and companionship. Wishing you every happiness as you begin this beautiful journey. With best wishes, Catherine."
Light and Humorous
Humorous messages work for close relationships where you know the couple appreciates your sense of humor. Avoid jokes about marriage struggles, divorce, or anything that could be misinterpreted.
For tested funny wedding messages that land well, see our collection of funny wedding messages.
Religious and Spiritual
Religious messages incorporate faith-based language, scripture references, or spiritual blessings. These are appropriate when you know the couple shares your faith tradition or had a religious ceremony.
"May God bless your marriage with love, joy, and peace. Praying that your journey together be guided by faith and filled with grace. Congratulations and blessings, The Morrison Family."
Our religious wedding wishes guide provides scripture-based messages for multiple faith traditions.
Quote-Based Messages
Including a meaningful quote adds depth without requiring you to craft entirely original prose. Pair the quote with 1-2 sentences of personal well-wishes for 40-60 word messages.
"'The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.' - Audrey Hepburn. This quote perfectly captures what I see in your relationship. Congratulations on your wedding day and the beautiful life you're building together. Love, Jennifer."
Wedding Card Etiquette: Dos and Don'ts
Understanding etiquette prevents common mistakes that can make messages feel inappropriate or uncomfortable. These guidelines represent consensus across major etiquette authorities.
| DO | DON'T |
|---|---|
| Address both partners by name | Address only the person you know |
| Keep messages positive and forward-looking | Reference past relationships or breakups |
| Write legibly in pen (never pencil) | Use abbreviations or text speak |
| Sign with your full name if recognition is uncertain | Assume they know your handwriting |
| Match your tone to your relationship | Force humor if it does not feel natural |
| Mention an enclosed gift briefly and naturally | Specify the dollar amount of cash gifts |
| Keep religious content appropriate to the couple | Assume everyone shares your faith |
| Proofread before writing in the card | Cross out mistakes or use correction fluid |
The Emily Post Institute reports that approximately one-third of wedding guests admit to making at least one etiquette mistake in wedding card messages, most commonly addressing only one partner or including inappropriate jokes (2024)2.
Message Length Examples
Different situations call for different message lengths. Having templates for short, medium, and long messages helps you adapt quickly.
Short Messages (15-25 words)
Perfect for acquaintances, professional relationships, or when adding a card to a group gift.
"Congratulations on your wedding! Wishing you both a lifetime of love and happiness. Best wishes, Amanda."
"So happy for you both! May your marriage be filled with joy. Warmly, The Peterson Family."
Medium Messages (35-50 words)
The most common length, suitable for friends, extended family, and most wedding situations.
"Congratulations, Rachel and Tom! Your love story is truly inspiring. Watching you support each other through everything has shown us what partnership really means. Wishing you endless adventures and deep happiness together. With love, Sophie and James."
Long Messages (60-80 words)
Appropriate for very close relationships, parents, godparents, or when you want to express deeper sentiments.
"Dearest Alexandra and William, what a joy to celebrate your marriage today. Alexandra, I've watched you grow from a curious child into a brilliant, compassionate woman. William, thank you for loving her so completely. Your partnership radiates kindness and mutual respect. May your marriage be blessed with patience in challenges, laughter in daily moments, and a love that deepens with each passing year. All our love, Uncle Robert and Aunt Claire."
When Money Is Your Gift
When giving cash or a check as a wedding gift, you can acknowledge it briefly and naturally in your card message without specifying the amount. Approximately 67% of US wedding guests give cash gifts, with regional variations (UK: 43%, Australia: 58%)4.
"Congratulations on your wedding! We've enclosed a little something to help you start your new adventure together. Wishing you every happiness. Love, Martin and Susan."
"Best wishes for your marriage! Hope this contributes to your honeymoon fund or whatever brings you joy. Warmly, The Chang Family."
For couples using a wedding gift registry or cash fund platform, you might reference their specific goals: "Congratulations! We contributed to your Italy honeymoon fund. Can't wait to see photos of your adventures! Love, Jennifer."
Special Situations and Adaptations
Some circumstances require message adaptation beyond standard formulas.
Second marriages: Focus on the present and future. Never reference previous marriages. "Congratulations on finding love again. Wishing you both joy in this new chapter."
Destination weddings you cannot attend: Acknowledge your absence warmly. "So sorry we cannot be there in person, but we are celebrating with you from home! Congratulations and enjoy every moment."
Interfaith or intercultural weddings: Celebrate the union of traditions. "What a beautiful blending of families and traditions. Congratulations on your marriage and the rich life you'll build together."
Couples who have been together a long time: Acknowledge their history. "After all these years together, how wonderful to celebrate this commitment. Your partnership has always inspired us. Congratulations!"
Final Tips for Writing Wedding Cards
Write your message in a separate notebook first if you tend to make mistakes or want to perfect your wording. Transfer the final version to the actual card once you are satisfied.
Allow 5-10 minutes for the entire process from selecting what to say to signing your name. Rushing creates errors and messy handwriting.
If you are part of a couple, decide whether one person will write and sign for both or if you will each add your own message. Consistency across cards from your household creates a better impression.
Always handwrite wedding card messages in pen. Handwritten messages are perceived as significantly more thoughtful than printed labels or typed messages (Hallmark Research, 2024)3. Write legibly, and if your handwriting is difficult to read, print in clear capital and lowercase letters rather than typing.
Sources and References
Footnotes
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The Knot, Wedding Wishes: What to Write in a Wedding Card, 2024. https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-wishes-what-to-write-in-a-wedding-card ↩
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Emily Post Institute, Wedding Etiquette 101, 2024. https://emilypost.com/advice/wedding-etiquette ↩ ↩2
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Hallmark Ideas & Inspiration, Wedding Wishes: What to Write in a Wedding Card, 2024. https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/wedding-ideas/wedding-wishes/ ↩ ↩2
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National Retail Federation, Wedding Gift Spending Survey, 2024. https://nrf.com/research/wedding-statistics ↩