Who Gives Speeches at a Wedding? 2025 Guide

Who Gives Speeches at a Wedding?

The father of the bride, groom, and best man traditionally give speeches at weddings, with this trio speaking at 66%, 92%, and 86% of UK celebrations respectively¹. Modern weddings increasingly feature additional speakers including brides (28%), maids of honour (24%), mothers of the bride or groom, and other meaningful family members or friends. The specific lineup varies significantly by region, with US, UK, Australian, and Canadian weddings following distinct customs. Most successful receptions feature 3-5 speeches totaling 20-30 minutes, scheduled between dinner courses or immediately after the meal to maintain guest engagement and celebration momentum.

Traditional Speech Order by Region

Wedding speech traditions differ notably across English-speaking countries, shaped by cultural customs and etiquette expectations. Understanding regional norms helps you plan a speech lineup that feels appropriate for your guests while leaving room for personal customization.

United States Traditional Order

1. Father of the Bride: Opens proceedings with a welcome to guests and toast to the newlyweds. Often shares memories of raising the bride and expresses joy at gaining a son or daughter-in-law.

2. Groom: Thanks parents from both families, acknowledges guests who traveled far, and toasts his bride and her parents. Commonly thanks the wedding party and vendors.

3. Best Man: Delivers the most humorous speech, sharing stories about the groom (keeping them reception-appropriate). Concludes with heartfelt wishes for the couple's future.

4. Maid of Honour (Common Addition): Speaks about the bride, shares their friendship story, and offers wisdom or well-wishes. Present at approximately 60% of US weddings².

United Kingdom Traditional Order

1. Father of the Bride: Welcomes guests formally, proposes a toast to "the bride and groom," and may read messages from absent friends or family.

2. Groom: Thanks both sets of parents, responds to the father of the bride, and crucially thanks and toasts the bridesmaids—a distinctive UK custom.

3. Best Man: Responds on behalf of the bridesmaids (another UK-specific tradition), delivers the lighthearted speech with gentle ribbing of the groom, and concludes with a toast to the happy couple.

The UK maintains stronger adherence to this traditional three-speech format, though 28% of modern British brides now add their own speeches¹.

Australian Traditional Order

1. Parents of the Bride: Either the father speaks alone or both parents share speaking duties, welcoming guests and toasting the couple.

2. Parents of the Groom: More commonly included in Australian weddings than elsewhere, offering their welcome and blessings.

3. Maid of Honour: Speaks before the best man in many Australian celebrations, sharing memories of the bride.

4. Best Man: Delivers the traditional best man speech with stories about the groom.

5. The Couple: Many Australian couples finish with a joint speech thanking everyone involved in the wedding³.

This more inclusive approach reflects Australia's relaxed, egalitarian culture where multiple voices contribute to the celebration.

Canadian Order (Regional Variations)

English-Canadian weddings largely follow US patterns with 3-5 speakers. French-Canadian celebrations often feature more extensive family participation, with speeches from both sets of parents, grandparents occasionally contributing, and the couple always speaking jointly at the end.

Modern Additions and Evolving Traditions

Wedding speech traditions have expanded significantly in recent years, reflecting changing family structures, gender equality movements, and couples' desires to personalize their celebrations.

The Rising Bride Speech

28% of UK brides now give speeches, nearly doubling from 15% in 2019¹. This trend appears even stronger in US, Australian, and Canadian weddings where bride speeches occur at an estimated 35-45% of celebrations. Modern brides speak to:

• Thank guests personally in their own voice
• Share their perspective on the relationship story
• Express gratitude to parents without relying on the groom as intermediary
• Model equality in their partnership from the wedding day forward

Brides typically speak either immediately after or jointly with their groom, creating a unified couple's address. Some couples alternate paragraphs for a conversational, collaborative speech.

Maid of Honour and Chief Bridesmaid Speeches

24% of UK weddings now include maid of honour speeches, with this figure approaching 60% in North America². These speeches balance the best man's address, offering the bride's side equal voice. Maids of honour typically:

• Share the bride's friendship story and character
• Offer touching or humorous anecdotes from years of friendship
• Welcome the groom into their friend group
• Toast the couple's future happiness

The maid of honour usually speaks after the best man in UK weddings, or before him in US and Australian celebrations, creating symmetry in the speech program.

Parents of the Groom

Groom's parents speak at approximately 35% of modern weddings, particularly common in Australia and increasingly popular in North America. The mother of the groom may speak alone, the father may speak, or both parents share duties. They typically:

• Welcome the bride into their family
• Share memories of raising the groom
• Thank the bride's family for welcoming them
• Offer blessings and wisdom for married life

This addition acknowledges that weddings unite two families equally, not just transfer a daughter from one household to another.

Other Meaningful Speakers

Modern weddings increasingly feature speeches from:

• Step-parents: Especially when they've played significant parenting roles
• Grandparents: Offering intergenerational wisdom and blessings
• Siblings: Brothers or sisters who weren't in best man/maid of honour roles
• Close Friends: When couples prioritize friendship over traditional roles
• Mentors: Teachers, coaches, or community leaders who shaped the couple

10-15% of contemporary weddings include at least one "non-traditional" speaker beyond the classic lineup.

LGBTQIA+ Weddings

Same-sex and non-binary couples often create entirely personalized speech orders, selecting speakers who represent their actual relationships rather than conforming to gendered traditions. Common approaches include:

• Both sets of parents speaking (when relationships permit)
• Honour attendants from both sides speaking
• The couple speaking first to set the tone
• Friend-focused speeches when family relationships are complicated

These weddings pioneered the "meaningful over traditional" approach that's now influencing heterosexual wedding planning.

Recommended Speech Order Configurations

Most successful receptions feature 3-5 speakers, balancing tradition with personalization. Here are proven configurations for different wedding styles.

Classic Traditional (3 Speakers)

Order: Father of Bride → Groom → Best Man Total Time: 12-15 minutes Best For: Formal weddings, traditional families, couples preferring brevity

This time-tested lineup works beautifully when speakers are confident, prepared, and represent all key relationships adequately. The groom's speech can acknowledge the bridesmaids and bride's qualities, while the best man offers balance with humor.

Modern Balanced (4-5 Speakers)

Order: Father of Bride → Groom → Maid of Honour → Best Man → (Optional: Bride) Total Time: 20-25 minutes Best For: Most contemporary weddings, couples wanting gender balance

Adding the maid of honour creates symmetry, giving equal voice to both sides of the wedding party. The optional bride speech (either separate or joint with groom) personalizes the thanks and represents the couple as equals.

Family-Focused (5-6 Speakers)

Order: Parents of Bride (joint or separate) → Parents of Groom (joint or separate) → Maid of Honour → Best Man → Couple (joint) Total Time: 25-30 minutes Best For: Australian-style celebrations, family-centered couples, multicultural weddings

This inclusive approach honors both families equally and concludes with the couple's united voice. Works particularly well when families have contributed significantly to wedding planning and funding.

Couple-First Modern (4 Speakers)

Order: The Couple (joint) → Father of Bride OR Parent from Each Side → Maid of Honour → Best Man Total Time: 18-22 minutes Best For: Independent couples, intimate weddings, progressive celebrations

Starting with the couple sets the tone, allows them to thank parents before parents speak (feeling less prescriptive), and positions them as the celebration's central voices. This format is increasingly popular among couples in their 30s and 40s.

Streamlined Intimate (2-3 Speakers)

Order: One Parent OR The Couple → Best Man or Close Friend Total Time: 8-12 minutes Best For: Small weddings, elopement receptions, couples uncomfortable with extensive speeches

Minimal speeches keep the focus on celebration rather than formality. One heartfelt parent speech plus one friend perspective covers essential sentiments without overwhelming intimate gatherings.

When to Schedule Speeches During Your Reception

Speech timing significantly impacts their effectiveness and your reception flow. The three most common approaches each offer distinct advantages.

Between Courses (Most Popular)

Scheduling speeches between dinner courses—typically between appetizers and main course, or between main course and dessert—keeps guests seated and attentive. This timing:

• Ensures everyone is present and settled (not at the bar or socializing)
• Provides natural breaks in dining service
• Allows catering staff to work efficiently during speeches
• Creates a captive, focused audience

Approximately 55% of weddings schedule speeches between courses. Coordinate with your venue and caterer to time speeches when guests have finished eating but before next course service begins.

Immediately After Dinner

Delivering all speeches immediately after dinner service concludes but before dancing begins creates a clear transition from formal dinner to party atmosphere. This approach:

• Separates dining from entertainment phases
• Allows guests to settle after eating
• Prevents speeches from interrupting dance floor momentum once started
• Works well when you have 5+ speakers (longer speech segment)

About 30% of weddings choose this timing. Consider this option if your reception runs late or if you want to begin dancing relatively early in the evening.

Before Dinner (Less Common)

Some couples schedule speeches during cocktail hour or immediately before dinner service begins. This timing:

• Gets speeches "out of the way" early when speakers are least nervous
• Allows speakers to relax and enjoy dinner afterward
• Frontloads formality before the celebration loosens up

Only 15% of weddings use this timing, as many guests are still arriving, mingling, or getting drinks during this window. Pre-dinner speeches work better for intimate weddings (under 50 guests) where everyone arrives punctually.

Hybrid Approach

Large weddings sometimes split speeches: welcome speeches before dinner, main speeches between courses, and final thank-you from the couple after dinner. This prevents any single speech segment from exceeding 15 minutes, maintaining energy throughout the evening.

How Long Should Wedding Speeches Be

Speech length dramatically affects guest engagement and reception energy. Research on attention spans and wedding industry best practices establish clear guidelines.

Individual Speech Length

3-5 minutes per speaker is ideal. This duration allows speakers to share 2-3 meaningful stories or points while maintaining guest attention. Guest engagement drops measurably after 5 minutes, with audiences becoming restless, checking phones, or starting side conversations.

Absolute maximum: 7 minutes. Even the most charismatic speakers should not exceed 7 minutes. Anything longer feels self-indulgent and shifts focus from celebration to performance.

Total Speech Time

Target: 20-25 minutes total across all speakers. This represents the sweet spot where speeches feel substantial without dominating the reception. Guests remain engaged, emotional moments land effectively, and humor generates genuine laughter.

Maximum: 30 minutes total. Beyond half an hour of consecutive speeches, even supportive guests grow weary. Energy dips noticeably, later speakers face tougher audiences, and your reception schedule falls behind.

Speech Length Recommendations by Speaker

Who Speaks at Weddings by Region: Comparative Data

Regional differences in wedding speech participation reveal fascinating cultural variations in how different countries celebrate marriages and honor relationships.

Speaker Participation Rates

Data compiled from Hitched UK 2024¹, Easy Weddings Australia 2024³, and The Knot US 2024²

Regional Insights

United States: American weddings increasingly embrace egalitarian speech participation, with nearly 60% including maid of honour speeches and over 40% featuring bride speeches. The US leads in breaking from strict gender traditions, with the approach "anyone meaningful to the couple can speak."

United Kingdom: British weddings maintain stronger adherence to traditional three-speaker format (father of bride, groom, best man), though this is softening among younger couples. Only 24% include maid of honour speeches, significantly lower than other English-speaking nations, preserving the custom where the best man "responds on behalf of the bridesmaids."

Australia: Australian celebrations are most inclusive regarding parents, with nearly half including groom's parents in the speech lineup. This reflects Australia's cultural emphasis on equality between families and less hierarchical approach to wedding traditions. Australians are also most likely to conclude with couple speeches, with both partners addressing guests together³.

Canada: Canadian speech patterns split along cultural lines. English-Canadian weddings closely mirror US trends with high maid of honour participation (60%). French-Canadian weddings feature more extensive family participation, with grandparents, aunts, and uncles speaking at approximately double the English-Canadian rate.

Coordination and Planning Tips

Successfully executing wedding speeches requires advance planning, clear communication, and tactful coordination. Follow these strategies to ensure your speech program runs smoothly.

Setting Expectations Early

Three months before: Confirm who will speak and provide them with time limits (3-5 minutes), event date, and general guidance on tone. Share resources like message inspiration to help nervous speakers.

Six weeks before: Check in with speakers about preparation progress. Offer to review drafts if they're anxious. Clarify the speaking order and what microphone/audio setup will be available.

One week before: Provide speakers with exact timing—when during the reception timeline they'll speak (e.g., "between main course and dessert, approximately 8:30 PM"). Share contact information for your MC or coordinator who will cue them.

Managing Nervous Speakers

Some speakers, particularly parents who've never given speeches, experience significant anxiety. Support them by:

• Offering to review their written draft and provide feedback
• Suggesting they practice multiple times before the wedding
• Reminding them that guests are supportive and forgiving
• Providing the option to pre-record a video message if live speaking feels impossible
• Arranging for them to speak early in the lineup before nerves intensify

The MC's Role

Designate someone—often the best man, a professional MC, or your wedding coordinator—to manage speech transitions. Their responsibilities include:

• Introducing each speaker with their name and relationship to the couple
• Managing microphone handoffs between speakers
• Keeping speakers roughly on time without being rude
• Leading applause and toasts after each speech
• Covering awkward gaps if a speaker struggles or a microphone fails

Backup Plans for Technical Issues

Prepare for common technical problems:

• Microphone failure: Have a backup microphone or ensure your venue can quickly swap equipment
• Speaker no-shows: Know which speakers could reasonably skip their speech without creating offense if they're ill or delayed
• Time overruns: Authorize your MC to gently wrap up speakers exceeding 8 minutes
• Emotional overwhelm: Have tissues ready and give speakers a moment to compose themselves

Capturing Speeches for Posterity

Ensure speeches are preserved:

• Videographer coverage: Confirm your videographer will capture all speeches with good audio
• Guest recording: Designate a friend to record speeches on their phone as backup
• Written copies: Ask speakers to email you their written drafts before the wedding for your memory book
• Transcription: Consider transcribing video speeches for your wedding album

Sources and References