How to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift Politely (2025 Guide)

Yes, asking for money as a wedding gift is perfectly acceptable—and increasingly preferred. According to The Knot's 2024 Guest Study, about 40% of wedding guests now give cash, and over 70% of couples say they prefer monetary gifts over physical items¹. The key is how you ask: frame your request around meaningful goals, use warm language, and choose the right platform.

Why Cash Gifts Have Become the Norm

The shift toward cash wedding gifts reflects modern realities. Most couples today live together before marriage and already own household essentials. In fact, only 11% of couples in 2024 registered for traditional items like formal china².

Regional Preferences

United States: Cash registries and honeymoon funds are mainstream. The average cash gift is $150, with close family often giving $200-500+³.

United Kingdom: The "gift list" tradition is evolving. Cash contributions are widely accepted, particularly through dedicated platforms. Typical amounts range from £50-100 for friends to £100-200+ for close family⁴.

Australia: The "wishing well" tradition—where guests place cards with cash in a decorated box at the reception—remains popular alongside online cash funds.

How to Ask Politely: The Golden Rules

1. Never Mention Gifts on the Invitation

Wedding invitations should focus solely on the celebration details. Gift information belongs exclusively on your wedding website or through word of mouth.

2. Frame It Around Your Goals

Instead of asking for money directly, create a purpose-driven fund:

• Honeymoon fund: "Help us explore Tuscany together"
• House deposit fund: "Contributing to our first home"
• Experience fund: "Creating memories in our new chapter"
• Future fund: "Building our life together"

3. Use Warm, Appreciative Language

Avoid:

• "No gifts, just cash please"
• "We prefer money"
• "Don't buy us anything"

Use instead:

• "Your presence is the greatest gift"
• "If you wish to honour us with a gift..."
• "For those who have asked about gifts..."

Wording Examples That Work

For Your Wedding Website

"We're so grateful you'll be celebrating with us! As we're combining two homes, we already have everything we need. If you'd like to give a gift, a contribution toward our honeymoon to Greece would mean the world to us. Of course, your presence is the only gift we truly need."

"Your love and support have meant everything as we've planned our wedding. For those asking about gifts, we've created a small fund toward our first home together. Any contribution, no matter the size, brings us closer to our dream."

For Word of Mouth (Through Family)

"If anyone asks, we're not having a traditional registry. We've set up a honeymoon fund, but please tell them their presence is what matters most."

For Destination Weddings

"We know travelling to celebrate with us is already a significant gift. Please don't feel obligated to give anything more. If you'd still like to contribute, we have a small fund for our post-wedding adventures."

UK-Specific Wording

"In lieu of traditional gifts, we would be grateful for contributions toward our honeymoon fund. Details can be found on our wedding website. Your presence on our special day is truly the greatest gift."

Australian Wishing Well Wording

"Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate, a wishing well will be available at the reception for cards."

Best Platforms for Wedding Cash Funds

Choosing the Right Platform

Consider these factors when selecting a platform:

1. Fee structure: Some platforms charge you, others pass fees to guests, and some offer fee-free options
2. Integration: Does it work with your wedding website?
3. Payment methods: Check which payment options are available in your country
4. Payout timing: How quickly can you access the funds?
5. Guest experience: Is it easy for guests of all ages to use?

Creating Your Cash Fund: Step by Step

Step 1: Choose Your Platform

Select based on your priorities—fees, features, or integration with your wedding website.

Step 2: Set Up Your Fund

Create a compelling description explaining what the money will be used for. Add photos if possible—a picture of your honeymoon destination or dream home makes the fund more tangible.

Step 3: Customise Suggested Amounts

Most platforms let you set preset contribution amounts. Consider your guest list:

• Colleagues and distant relatives: $50-75
• Friends: $100-150
• Close family: $200+

Step 4: Add It to Your Wedding Website

Place the fund link prominently but tastefully. Include it in your registry section alongside any physical items.

Step 5: Share Strategically

Let close family know about the fund so they can spread the word naturally. Never send direct messages asking for contributions.

Etiquette Tips by Region

United States

• Cash funds are completely mainstream
• It's acceptable to only have a cash registry
• Digital platforms like Venmo are widely used
• Thank-you notes should acknowledge specific contribution amounts

United Kingdom

• Traditional gift lists are still common alongside cash funds
• Department store registries (John Lewis, Debenhams) remain popular
• Cheques are still used by older guests
• "No boxed gifts" is a polite way to suggest cash

Australia

• Wishing wells at receptions are a beloved tradition
• Bank transfers are commonly used
• It's acceptable to include BSB and account details on your website
• "Wishing well" wording is understood and expected

What to Do After Receiving Cash Gifts

1. Track contributions: Keep a record of who gave what for thank-you notes
2. Send prompt thank-yous: Within 2-3 months of the wedding
3. Be specific: Mention how you'll use their contribution
4. Share photos: If funding a honeymoon, send a photo from your trip

Thank-You Note Example

"Dear Aunt Sarah, Thank you so much for your generous contribution to our honeymoon fund. We're so excited to put it toward our sunset dinner cruise in Santorini! Your love and support mean the world to us. With love, [Names]"

Common Concerns (And Why They're Unfounded)

"Won't guests think we're greedy?" Not if you frame it thoughtfully. The data shows most couples prefer cash, and most guests appreciate the guidance on what to give.

"What if older relatives disapprove?" Offer a small traditional registry alongside your cash fund so guests have options. Some guests genuinely enjoy shopping for physical gifts.

"Is it tacky to show a goal amount?" Opinions vary. Some couples find progress bars motivating and transparent; others prefer not to display totals. Choose what feels right for you.

"What if guests give less than expected?" Never express disappointment. Every contribution is a gesture of love, regardless of amount. Send the same heartfelt thank-you to all guests.

Sources and References