When to Send a Wedding Gift: Timing Etiquette 2025

Send your wedding gift within three months of the wedding date for optimal etiquette¹. The best timing is 1-2 weeks before the wedding, shipped directly to the couple's home. While the traditional "one-year rule" persists in popular culture, modern etiquette experts confirm this timeline is outdated. According to WeddingWire's survey, 37% of guests send gifts the week before the event². Earlier gifts help couples write thank-you notes promptly and avoid post-wedding logistics stress.

Quick Answer: When to Send a Wedding Gift

The timing flexibility for wedding gifts accommodates different situations, but earlier is always better for the couple's convenience.

Before the Wedding (Traditional & Recommended)

Sending your gift before the wedding represents the gold standard of wedding gift etiquette according to modern experts.

Advantages of Early Gifting

Pre-wedding gifts eliminate logistical headaches for couples on their big day. Emily Post emphasizes that gifts should be sent soon after you receive your invitation¹, giving couples time to acknowledge your generosity before wedding chaos begins. According to The Knot's Guest Study, guests who send gifts early report feeling less stressed about wedding day logistics³.

Couples appreciate early gifts because they can send thank-you notes immediately rather than facing a mountain of correspondence after the honeymoon. One wedding planner notes that couples who receive 60% or more of gifts before the wedding complete their thank-you notes 40% faster on average.

How to Send Pre-Wedding Gifts

Use the couple's registry whenever possible, as most retailers ship directly to the address on file. Verify the shipping address matches their current residence, not a parent's home. For couples living together, address packages to both names: "Jamie Smith and Alex Johnson."

Consider timing around their schedule. Avoid delivery during the final week before the wedding when they're managing last-minute details. The ideal window is 2-4 weeks before the wedding date. Add a gift receipt and personal card with your names clearly written to avoid confusion during thank-you note writing.

Registry Shipping Benefits

Major registry platforms like Zola, The Knot, and Amazon Wedding Registry mark items as "purchased" immediately, preventing duplicate gifts. They also consolidate shipments to reduce packaging waste and coordinate delivery timing. Registry gifts automatically include your information, making thank-you notes easier for the couple.

Regional Variations

Wedding gift timing customs vary significantly across English-speaking countries, reflecting different cultural priorities and etiquette traditions.

🇺🇸 United States

American etiquette follows the Emily Post three-month guideline strictly¹. The Knot's survey found Americans spend an average of $150 on wedding gifts³, with 40% giving cash and 50% choosing physical gifts. Regional differences emerge in generosity: guests in the Northeast spend $200 or more for close family (30% of guests) compared to only 13% in other U.S. regions⁴.

American couples expect gifts even from non-attending guests who received formal invitations. The cultural norm emphasizes reciprocity: attending a wedding creates a gift obligation. However, NerdWallet's survey found 52% of Americans consider asking for cash "tacky," though this perception is shifting toward acceptance⁴.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom

British etiquette considers not giving a gift poor form even when couples claim they don't want gifts⁴. The UK tradition strongly favors giving gifts on the wedding day itself or a few days prior, rather than the American preference for advance shipping.

British guests focus on thoughtfulness over expense, with the guideline being to spend what you'd budget for a nice night out. Physical gifts remain more popular than cash in the UK, with 56% of surveyed guests preferring to buy tangible presents⁵. British wedding gift lists (registries) are used by 59% of gift-givers⁵.

🇦🇺 Australia & New Zealand

Australian etiquette maintains the traditional one-year window more than other regions, though three months remains the recommended target⁶. Australian couples increasingly use "wishing wells" (decorative boxes) for cash gifts at receptions, making day-of cash contributions culturally normalized.

Modern Australian weddings embrace digital gift platforms, with wedding money gifts accepted at engagement parties, before the wedding, at the reception, or within 2-3 weeks after⁶. The shift toward cash reflects Australia's high housing costs, with many couples requesting contributions toward house deposits rather than household items.

The Australian approach emphasizes guest financial comfort: "Always prioritise your own financial comfort over social pressure"⁶. This creates more flexibility in both gift amounts and timing compared to stricter American norms.

🇨🇦 Canada

Canadian customs blend British and American traditions. While specific Canadian etiquette guides are limited, wedding industry professionals report that Canadian couples follow the three-month guideline similar to the United States. Regional variations exist, with French-speaking Quebec maintaining more formal European-influenced customs around gift presentation.

The One-Year Rule: Myth vs Reality

The persistent belief that guests have one full year to send wedding gifts contradicts modern etiquette expert guidance.

Origin of the Rule

The one-year timeline likely originated from mid-20th century etiquette when couples married younger and guests faced more limited shopping options. Ordering from distant retailers or commissioning custom gifts required months of lead time. The generous deadline accommodated slower mail systems and manufacturing processes.

Historical etiquette books from the 1950s-1970s referenced the year-long window as a "maximum" rather than a target. However, cultural telephone games transformed "up to one year" into "you have a whole year," creating misconceptions that persist today.

What Current Etiquette Experts Say

Emily Post explicitly debunks the one-year myth: "Contrary to a current rumor that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent soon after you receive your invitation or, on the outside, within three months of the wedding"¹. The Emily Post Institute emphasizes this helps couples complete thank-you notes in a timely manner.

The Knot's etiquette experts confirm that while the traditional one-year maximum exists, many experts agree guests should aim to get their presents delivered to the couple within three months of the wedding³. WeddingWire's data supports this shift: only 1% of surveyed guests sent gifts more than several weeks after the wedding².

Modern consensus among etiquette authorities:

• Emily Post: Within 3 months
• The Knot: Within 3 months (preferred)
• WeddingWire: Week before to week after (most common)
• Traditional maximum: 1 year (outdated standard)

Day of Wedding: Bringing vs Sending

The choice between bringing gifts to the wedding or shipping them involves practical trade-offs for both guests and couples.

Practical Tips for Day-Of Gifts

If bringing a gift to the wedding, confirm the venue has a secure gift table or card box. Arrive early to place your gift before the ceremony begins. For cash or checks, use a sealed envelope inside a card, never loose cash. Write the check to both partners using their legal names as they appear on the invitation.

Small, wrapped gifts work better than large boxes. One bride recounted receiving a KitchenAid mixer at her reception that didn't fit in the car, forcing relatives to make a separate trip. Large appliances, furniture, or fragile items should always ship to the home.

Never bring gifts to destination weddings unless specifically requested⁷. The couple faces luggage restrictions and international shipping complications. Your presence at a destination wedding represents significant financial commitment, but a gift sent to their home address remains appropriate.

If You're Late: What to Do

Missing the ideal gift-giving window doesn't mean you shouldn't send a gift at all.

Late Gift Etiquette

Emily Post reassures late gift-givers: "Gifts should be sent before the wedding or as soon after the wedding date as possible. But late is better than never so send your gift when you can"¹. The quality and thoughtfulness of your gift matters more than perfect timing.

If sending a gift 4-6 months after the wedding, include a brief warm note without elaborate excuses. After six months, a simple acknowledgment of the delay shows self-awareness. After one year, include a sincere apology while keeping the focus on your happiness for the couple.

Avoid over-explaining or listing reasons for the delay. Long justifications draw more attention to the lateness and can sound defensive. The couple doesn't need to know about your financial struggles, forgetfulness, or life chaos.

Sample Accompanying Notes

For gifts 4-6 months late:

"Wishing you continued joy in your marriage. We hope this finds you both wonderfully happy together."

For gifts 6-12 months late:

"Please accept our belated gift with warmest wishes. We hope your first year of marriage has been filled with love and laughter."

For gifts over one year late:

"We sincerely apologize for the delay in sending this gift. Though late, it comes with our genuine happiness for your marriage and hopes for many beautiful years ahead."

Including a personal touch:

"We loved watching you two dance at the reception. This seemed perfect for your new home. Sorry it took us so long to send it!"

Keep notes under 3 sentences. Pair your note with a thoughtful gift that shows you know the couple's tastes, which demonstrates the delay came from care in selection rather than negligence.

Sending to the Couple's Home

Shipping directly to the couple's residence remains the most practical option for most wedding gifts.

Timing Considerations

Avoid deliveries during the couple's honeymoon when packages may sit outside or be handled by others. Check their wedding website or ask the couple directly about honeymoon dates. The ideal windows are:

• 2-4 weeks before the wedding
• 2-6 weeks after they return from honeymoon

For high-value items, request signature confirmation to prevent porch theft. Consider the couple's work schedules: weekday deliveries to an empty house risk package theft in some neighborhoods. Some retailers offer "hold for pickup" options at nearby stores.

Correct Addressing

Address shipped gifts to the couple using the names listed on their registry or invitation. For different-sex couples following traditional name changes, some guides suggest addressing pre-wedding gifts to the bride's maiden name and post-wedding gifts to the married name. However, modern practice uses both full names to avoid assumptions:

Pre-wedding: Jamie Smith and Alex Johnson 123 Main Street Apartment 4B Seattle, WA 98101

Post-wedding (if name change): Jamie and Alex Johnson 123 Main Street Apartment 4B Seattle, WA 98101

Include apartment numbers, gate codes in delivery instructions, and your full name on the packing slip. Registry purchases automatically include your information, but off-registry gifts need clear attribution for thank-you notes.

Registry Shipping Advantages

Registry platforms consolidate gifts, track what's been purchased, and provide the correct shipping address. They also mark items as purchased immediately, preventing duplicate gifts from multiple guests. Most registries offer free shipping with group discount codes shared by the couple.

Return and exchange policies favor registry purchases. If the couple receives duplicates or changes their mind, retailers accept registry returns more easily than gifts with lost receipts. Some platforms like Zola allow couples to exchange unwanted registry items for cash credit toward other needs.

Special Situations

Non-traditional wedding scenarios require adapted gift etiquette while maintaining thoughtful generosity.

Destination Weddings

Your attendance at a destination wedding represents significant financial investment in flights, accommodations, and time off work. However, etiquette experts confirm you should still send a gift unless the couple explicitly says otherwise⁷. The gift amount can be more modest than for local weddings.

Ship destination wedding gifts to the couple's home address before you depart or after you return. Never bring physical gifts to the wedding destination⁷, as couples face luggage restrictions and international shipping costs. Cash gifts should be contributed digitally through registry platforms or mailed in a check to their home, not brought to the tropical beach ceremony.

Emily Post states: "You can send your gift to the couple's home address before you depart for the wedding or after you return"⁷. This protects both the gift and the couple from transport headaches.

Established Couples

Couples who've lived together for years or are in their 30s-40s typically own basic household items. These couples often create registries focused on upgrades (replacing old items with high-quality versions), experiences (honeymoon funds), or home improvement projects.

If no registry exists, consider:

• Gift cards to home stores for future needs
• Charitable donations in their name
• Experience gifts (restaurant cards, cooking classes, wine club)
• Cash contributions toward specific goals mentioned to you

Established couples may genuinely prefer no gifts, particularly at second weddings. If they explicitly request "no gifts," respect this wish and consider a heartfelt wedding card instead.

Second Marriages

Second weddings traditionally involved less gifting expectation, but modern etiquette treats all weddings equally. If you're invited to the wedding with full guest status (not just ceremony), give a gift. The amount may be more modest if you gave generously to a first wedding, but some token of celebration remains appropriate.

Close friends and family should give gifts comparable to first weddings. Distant relatives or coworkers can give smaller gifts or cards only. Let your relationship with the couple guide your decision more than wedding number.

If Not Attending

Receiving a wedding invitation creates a gift obligation even if you decline to attend, according to traditional American and British etiquette. The couple chose to share their celebration with you, indicating a valued relationship. Your gift acknowledges this connection.

However, if you're invited to a wedding for someone you barely know or if your invitation was clearly a gift grab (such as office-wide invitations from someone you've never spoken with), you may send a card only. Close friends and family who can't attend should send gifts in the same range as if attending.

Guests who decline due to financial constraints can send modest gifts ($25-50) rather than skipping entirely. A thoughtful small gift shows you care while respecting your budget.

Sources and References